Just this day I have reached a few conclusions about this mysterious haze we refer to as 'nostalgia.' Trust me, folks, cleaning, stocking, and organizing a company office for eight hours straight with little to no human interaction allows plenty of time for personal contemplation.
One, it's okay to remember. We sometimes convince ourselves that pondering the past is wasteful and hopeless. This can be true, if our only thoughts are focused on how dismal things were back then or how dismal they are now that the glory days have all but abandoned us. However, even a sad memorial may be safe if we correlate it to something positive at one point.
Two, we gain a clearer, broader perspective when looking back at the past. I venture to declare that all have experienced the inexplicably catastrophic couple of seconds when the universe's entirety comes crashing down. The unyielding pressure weighs down like a hundred tons of hot steel, and the only reality is that there will never be an escape. What a horrific event this is to its captive. But years or even months down the road, that terror is dissipated to some degree as we realize that so many forces caused this condition which at the time seemed unbearable. Here is an example. In third grade, I prided myself on being the best speller in my class (and, for the next three consecutive years, in my school). During a routine spelling test, my teacher said aloud the word "theater" and asked us to write it down. Well, was it T-H-E-A-T-E-R or was it T-H-E-A-T-R-E? I chewed my pencil and stared down at the blank line on my paper. The teacher paused long enough for us to write our answers, and then she began to move on. I still hadn't written the word. I couldn't disrupt the spelling test; that would be so embarrassing! I would look so stupid in front of all my classmates who thought I was the smartest kid ever. And my teacher would single me out and I would be teased at recess and no one would sit by me at lunch and all the other kids would whisper behind my back and my parents would disapprove of my bad grade on the test and I wouldn't get the New Century scholarship (yes, my teacher discussed that with my parents in third grade. And no, I did not even apply in high school). The rest of the class was several words ahead of me. I began to cry, grateful for the cheat-proof folders that hid my face and my disgraceful test. The aide saw me and she and my teacher hurried to my side to assess the situation. To make a long story short, I had to leave class to clean myself up. It was the end of the world.
And now, please tell me that I was overreacting. Because I was.
Three, history repeats itself. Unless we prevent that from happening. If we learn from our mistakes, we can ensure that we don't have to relive painful incidences caused by our own misjudgments. On the other hand, if we remember what made a particular state of affairs wonderful, we may seek to recreate its effects later on.
You have the control to manipulate your own future to your advantage. I repeatedly promulgate my position on the validity of effective decision-making. Live in the current moment, but remember how your decisions affected you in the past and consider how they may affect you in years to come.
I miss some relationships I used to share. Others I am respectfully grateful to be without. All I can do is appreciate the ones I have now and take good care of them. Be an exemplary companion, even if it isn't popular or easy. Sure, you'll be blessed for it, but don't give love with thought of reward. If you do, it is not love. And please, never, ever, ever try to convince someone that you are what they need just because you want it to be that way. Instead, love that person enough to want what's best for him or her, even if it is not you. This is what I've gained from my memories.
Lastly, for anyone in doubt, have hope. All forgotten is not lost.
Happy remembering!
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