Nine months previous to last Thursday, a then-near-stranger and I shaped together the world's most delectable pie on a mere whimsical craving. Naturally, pie brought the two of us closer, but we certainly did not expect my stepdad to actually ask me to date this boy due to the tasty results of our cooking adventure. The secret to our success is that we didn't actually do everything we were supposed to. We randomly tossed a lonesome pear into the made-from-scratch apple filling, dripped in a little too much lemon juice, and devised an igloo (complete with eskimo, campfire, and sealskin roofing) atop the upper crust with leftover homemade dough. Plus, we watched Balto and then Coldplay music videos until way past our bedtime. The element of Whatthe...? made that evening so much more enjoyable, even if we didn't know each other very well.
We recklessly abstained from making another pie until...you guessed it...last Thursday, when on another whim I called that cool cat up and we set out to reincarnate our original masterpiece. The only problem? We didn't have any of the recipes we used the first time. Welcome to Google! I found a promising-looking crust recipe, which we whipped up quick enough before discovering it was supposed to be refrigerated for four hours prior to use. Aaand it was already 10:00 at night. Humbug. After dicing up a cornucopia of apples (and, of course, one juicy pear) and mixing in some other stuff, we stuck that in the fridge and rolled up our ball of dough into plastic wrap. Here's my genius idea: we'll just put it in the freezer for two hours! That'll work just great! Ta-da! So we found an empty nook in the freezer and went to watch Deja Vu (oh, Denzel).
After 45 minutes I was too nervous to bear it, so I went to check on the dough - hard as a rock. Smooth move. To the refrigerator it went. Another half hour passed and I came upstairs once again to inspect the damage. That stupid dough was still solid! My next fantastic plan: run it under hot water. I burned my fingers, but managed to loosen up the ball a little bit. My partner in crime and I pounded and smooshed the stubborn material into the bottom of the pie tin until it closely resembled a crust. At this point we realized that the recipe did not yield enough dough for an upper crust. Ah! Exasperated, we searched the kitchen for something to cover our pie. ("Graham crackers?" "Marshmallows...?" Don't ever take suggestions from a Russian.) At last, I reverted to Google and found a simple crumb topping recipe. That was one good idea.
Eventually we constructed our experiment to the best of our abilities and baked it to golden perfection. The verdict: "It looks like we made the beach." "And oh, look! The pie filling coming out on the edge looks like the ocean!" It is true. We are proud of ourselves in even the most mundane of circumstances. Would you like to know something? This pie was even better than its predecessor. The remaining two slices now reside in James's fridge. Unless they've already been sought out and consumed by his roommates. (Hunger Games, anyone?)
The end result.
The most important part.
The first bite!
Even me.
We recklessly abstained from making another pie until...you guessed it...last Thursday, when on another whim I called that cool cat up and we set out to reincarnate our original masterpiece. The only problem? We didn't have any of the recipes we used the first time. Welcome to Google! I found a promising-looking crust recipe, which we whipped up quick enough before discovering it was supposed to be refrigerated for four hours prior to use. Aaand it was already 10:00 at night. Humbug. After dicing up a cornucopia of apples (and, of course, one juicy pear) and mixing in some other stuff, we stuck that in the fridge and rolled up our ball of dough into plastic wrap. Here's my genius idea: we'll just put it in the freezer for two hours! That'll work just great! Ta-da! So we found an empty nook in the freezer and went to watch Deja Vu (oh, Denzel).
After 45 minutes I was too nervous to bear it, so I went to check on the dough - hard as a rock. Smooth move. To the refrigerator it went. Another half hour passed and I came upstairs once again to inspect the damage. That stupid dough was still solid! My next fantastic plan: run it under hot water. I burned my fingers, but managed to loosen up the ball a little bit. My partner in crime and I pounded and smooshed the stubborn material into the bottom of the pie tin until it closely resembled a crust. At this point we realized that the recipe did not yield enough dough for an upper crust. Ah! Exasperated, we searched the kitchen for something to cover our pie. ("Graham crackers?" "Marshmallows...?" Don't ever take suggestions from a Russian.) At last, I reverted to Google and found a simple crumb topping recipe. That was one good idea.
Eventually we constructed our experiment to the best of our abilities and baked it to golden perfection. The verdict: "It looks like we made the beach." "And oh, look! The pie filling coming out on the edge looks like the ocean!" It is true. We are proud of ourselves in even the most mundane of circumstances. Would you like to know something? This pie was even better than its predecessor. The remaining two slices now reside in James's fridge. Unless they've already been sought out and consumed by his roommates. (Hunger Games, anyone?)
Really excited for this right now.
"A triumphant mess."
Chocolate milk turns everyone into a champion.
He took his last sip.
And I took care of the last bite. Yum yum.
Now, this is how we make a pie (with a few revisions):
{CRUST}
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter, chilled and diced
1/4 cup ice water
1. In a big old bowl, combine flour and salt. Dump in all that butter (one chopped-up stick) and gently knead it in with very well-washed hands until the mixture has a crumb-like texture. Stir in a tablespoon at a time of the water (I had to look it up on Google again - that's four tablespoons) and knead just enough to make a ball. Cover this ball completely in Saran wrap and stick it in the freezer for 30 minutes.
2. Transfer dough to refrigerator for 45 minutes.
3. Run dough (still covered in Saran wrap, you goose) under hot water for 4 minutes, or until soft enough to knead again.
4. Grease the bottom of a 9-inch glass pie tin and smash the dough into the tin to cover all inside surfaces evenly.
5. Press the prongs of a fork against all edges, and maybe a few times on the bottom for pizzazz.
{FILLING}
3 large Fuji or Braeburn apples, cored and roughly diced
1 pear of the delicious variety, cored and roughly diced
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/4 cup butter, melted
2/3 cup sugar
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1. While dough is in the freezer, dice up all that tasty fruit and put it in a large bowl, then toss in the lemon juice. Pour melted butter over the top. Mix in sugar and flour until fruit is thoroughly coated. Throw that bowl in the fridge until dough is ready.
2. Pour filling into crust. Use a spatula to get out all the juices from the bottom of the bowl and to even out the filling in its crust.
{TOPPING}
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup butter, diced
1. Mix together the brown sugar and flour with a fork. Again, using those very well-washed hands of yours, incorporate the butter to create crumbs. Don't worry if it seems to be too smooth; it bakes impeccably.
2. Spoon topping over pie filling, being sure to get all those hard-to-reach spots.
{BAKING, ETC.}
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees at one point or another. Nobody's going to freak out if you have to wait a few minutes for it to finish warming up.
2. Cover edges of assembled pie with foil. Bake for 25 minutes.
3. Remove foil and bake for another 25 minutes.
4. Extract pie from oven and cool for 7 minutes.
5. Gingerly cut a slice and serve it to yourself before sharing. A pie this awesome deserves the cook's undivided attention above all else.
6. Listen to this song.
Happy improvising!
No comments:
Post a Comment